Genuine connection takes work.
We all seek connections in our life, but not every connection can be treated equally. There are people who come and go and others who hang around for a lifetime.
Over the weekend, while watching Season 1 Episode 6 (Imposter Syndrome) of Shrinking there was a scene near the end of the episode talking about vulnerability that stuck with me. While the vulnerability in the episode was talking more about connecting in romantic relationships, I think it can be broadened out to encompass all relationships.
The basic concept in the episode was that, in order to make our relationships work, we must stay open and not let our defenses get in the way. We will always find ways to connect with one another when we are vulnerable.
For me, I find that is the difference between the more surface-based relationships and the deeper ones. Each time we get vulnerable we take a risk that we will not be accepted, seen or heard by the other person. This is where our insecurities take over and sabotage any possibility of connection.
If we close off these parts of us because of fear, we are limiting ourselves the ability to grow and evolve in our life. Facing this fear requires us to work through our stuff so we have the capacity to take that risk and be vulnerable.
We can sense when we or someone else is closed off. We can sense the heaviness and reluctance to go deep. Sometimes we can feel the hurt that lies just below the surface. If you get close, you or the other person will retreat as a way of protecting yourself.
Many of us seek genuine connections in our life. Not everyone we interact with or come across can provide this for us. And, honestly, I do not think it is possible for that to happen. Not everyone is meant to have a lasting role in our life.
Vulnerability is authenticity in its purest form. That is what makes it sometimes scary to reveal this part of us.
Whoever we show this side of us to is getting the real you. Notice who you open up to and who opens up to you.
Part of my journey has been to create space for myself and others to be vulnerable and develop those authentic and genuine relationships.
Joe Gullo